My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
