Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
