You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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