I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
