She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
