our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
