Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
