I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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