Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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