Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
