i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
