I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
