after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
