Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
