Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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