We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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