I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
