I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize