Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
