i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
