u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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