You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
