The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
