I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
