you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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