During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
