Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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