Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
