i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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