I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
