Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
