I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
