You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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