U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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