Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize