I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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