Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
