i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
