Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Randomize
