I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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