this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
