My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
