She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize