Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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