And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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