I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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