is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
