Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
