I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
