You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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