Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
why do cheetos always look like penises
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
