THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
