remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
