I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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