oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
