If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
