based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
