We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He felt like a one man threesome
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
