Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
