even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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