and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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