I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
